I'm Lost, Lost in Dreams and Reality.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE, ARE YOU WHO YOU WANNA BE?
IS IT EVERYTHING YOU DREAMED IT WOULD BE?
WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER, AND YOU HAD EVERYTHING TO LOSE, EVERYTHING TO LOSE...

i feel i'm losing grip and I don't like this feeling of falling. People ask me how i'm feeling and whats going on and I just don't have the answers.
I dont know where this is going but I hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Cast your troubles into the sky, they can be the stars in our eyes..

Exams are over, Christmas is near, interview at Farnborough; the future seems bright.

Last night was emotional to say the least; tears, broken hearts and drink. I spent most of my evening pining over lost friendship and boys that don't deserve my tears.
You should Have opened your eyes, I was crazy for you.



Hannah Wylam: I owe you an apology as well as a thank you, I hope we can go back to how we were as your a huge part of my life, and I truly value your friendship. We have more in common than we thought and we have had some hard times, we've both been knocked to the point where we thought we wouldn't be able to stand again but look at us... no ones perfect, but we are strong and wise and I am sure that greater things are still to come.
We all have things inside that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out to sea.



Take each day as it comes, we have our whole lives ahead of us.

There's something in your voice, makes my heart beat fast (8)

Well I'm sat her snuggled up in bed, smelling your hoodie and I can't help but smile.

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

where words fail, music speaks.

With the help of music, laughter and cute texts; this week has gone quite quickly. It hasn't all gone to plan and I've definitely failed my exams, but i'm not so bothered.

One week left and things are looking up, i feel inspired and fresh.

All i need is good friends and a song to sing along to <3

Keep Calm and Carry On.

I'm not annoyed, I'm just hurt. I thought you where one of my closest friends, and i trusted and confided in you..

Despite what you both think, I'm not a bitter person and I'm not going to write a huge blog of how I'm feeling and how upset I am after hearing what you really think of me. Because no matter what, I can hold my head up and be proud of who I am; I may not be perfect but who is?

I have great friends and great family, I have alot to look forward to, I've got big plans and dreams, and I'm gunna be happy because I deserve to.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars...

Summer?

I'm sat in my kitchen, listening to some tunes whilst i watch mother making some yummy food- she's trying to experiment new things and she keeps telling me to look up recipes online hmmm...

It's been a rather eventful morning so far, woke up at 10 and of course watched my favourite programme ever.. yeapp THE BILL!! had my coco pops, had a dance in the kitchen, even though my bitch of a neck was killing me (slept in a weird position :/) sat snuggled on the sofa watching crap on the tv, at 12 i decided i should really get up and have ashower.... so i did.

All washed and clean, mother home from work.. dry and straighten newly coloured hair ohh yeahh it's like a reddy colour but it's not too bold :(

and then..... my counsellor arrive EARLY! grrrr bitch she's alright though.. i got a bit teary and emotional, i was just in one of those moods :/....

So i think i should really get some coursework done, i've been saying it for days yet i keep getting distracted and to be perfectly honest i can't be arsed to do it, i have no inspiration - so if anyone finds it please return it asap!

It's pissing with rain outside but with the smell of cooked cakes wafting through the kitchen i feel

quite warm and happy- for once! This summer holiday seems to be going rather quickly but although i haven't seen many of my friends i have seen lots of family and it was really lovely.

Katie and I went on abit of a road trip to Hereford and Liverpool to see relatives and it was so nice to see them, all my cousens seem to be really grown up: married, kids and houses it made me feel really young but i made me happy to think i've got all that still to come... but first i need to get my GCSE's and A levels under my belt before i can do anything. On that note i'm going to look up colleges and careers...... mind boggling

How Time Flys...

I've been meaning to write a blog for ages, yet Eastenders and food have taken priority. It's been quite a while since i wrote a rather depressing blog and alot has happened since then. It's finally the summer holidays and it has come to the end of an era of year 10 which for me has been a good school year; great friends, amusing parties, lots of laughs and heart to hearts <3

The last few weeks have been quite jam packed, my last blog i moaned about arguing with my mum, the stress of exams and the fear of work experience... well i'm glad to say all that hassle is over! me and my lovely mum have been getting on really well and I'm looking forward to spending lots of time with her this holiday, my wonderful big sis is home from uni (however she's in Ireland at the moment) it's nice to have her home because i really miss our girly chats when she's away. We get our exam results in August and I'm quite nervous i dont think i've done terrible but i don't think i've done brilliant either, i tried my best and i'm lucky to have supportive family and friends that don't put pressure on me with exams.

I went to Zappas, the hair salon, for work experience and i didn't really enjoy it. I was mostly cleaning up their mess and i couldn't wait to go home each day. It's opened my eyes to the world of work and the girls at the salon weren't that nice and to be brutally honest they were pretty dumb too. I think i'd rather go down the beauty therapy path rather than hair salon. i've been looking up degrees and there's loads on offer and maybe one day i'll have my

own beauty business (well thats the plan).

Last week i went to Poland on a History school trip and maynn it was hot! The trip as a whole was really good, i saw some real eye opening things and i had a few tears walking round the concentration camps, yet i'm really glad i went. I came on my period which wasn't ideal but hay hoe that's life. I love going on school trips surrounded by amazing friends and lovely teachers. I was abit home sick and the food wasn't all that great but i had lots of laughs and our disabled room was classic!

So the holidays are here and i'm hoping that it'll be fun, i've got abit of coursework to do and i'm crapping my pants about year 11 but hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end. I'm just gunna relax and spend quality time with friends and family and make the most of what i've got as i am a very lucky girl!