Pardon me for the lack of excitement, but I'm not entirely thrilled.

People are pissing me off, grow up and shut up. Just little things are getting to me lately, I just wanna leave school, I'm done with all that now, I'm tired of the same boring conversation and dreary lessons... it's all such a drag.

I wanna get these exams out the way, leave school.. go to Ireland with Zoe, party all summer and have a fresh start at Farnborough, it's exactly what I need.

That is if I even get into Farnborough anymore :/.. everything seems to be falling apart. This years gone to quickly and I'm not prepared.

Times are hard for dreamers.

I'm so fed up, tired and emotionally drained. I have nothing to look forward to and everything seems to be falling apart.
At the end of last year I felt I had everything to look forward to and so much to gain, I was healthy and happy, now my body doesn't know whether it's coming or going and all I ever feel like these days is curling up in bed and crying.

I feel so lonely and that everyone around me is moving on and forgetting me...
it's fair to say I'm in a pretty dark place at the moment and I'm out of ideas of how to pick myself up.

You'll be in my heart, now and forever more..

It's mothers day and like every year my sister and I made my beautiful mummy breakfast and we sat in her bed for an hour opening presents and giggling, that's what I love about my mum; she's not just a parent she truely is my best friend and she always knows how to make me smile.

So we've got lots of chocolate and yummy foods and we're going to spoil her alot today!

Baby, she's a wild thing.

I just want this all to be over, being ill's getting old and schools a drag.

I can't wait to leave this all behind, go to college and grow up. I want to go on a road trip on a hot summers day with no predetermined destination, just follow the open road listening to Indie music.
I want to lay on the beach all day and take picture of the night sky.

I also want to get this taattooed on me, maybe the middle of my upper back?

tears don't mean your losing, everyone's bruising.

Well I feel I'm losing myself in this illness, as if I'm drowning and I'm so weak and powerless.

I'm trying to keep my spirits up, even though I'm scared and full of worry. Inbetween visits to the hospital I've successfully managed to watch all my favourite Disney movies and it kept my mind off everything and took me back to happier times when I was younger when all I had to worry about was what smelly gel pen I'd use to write with.

Even though I haven't really seen my friends and feel abit lonely it hasn't all been bad, my mums really spoilt and looked after me and it's been nice to just have a break from people and given me time to think about what I want and to look to the future and not dwell on the past.
So I have another appointment at my second home, the hospital, next week. YAY! I can hardly wait.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you...

You kept my heart warm in these cold winter months, and you made me feel alive.
But it's time to stop this heartache and save myself any more let down and pain.

So I'll have my heart back until I find someone who deserves to look after it.

In all this chaos, we found safety..

Christmas is over, and the end of 2010 is approaching. Lots of people say new year, new start.. but I dont want a new start, I'm really happy and for me 2010 has been a great year. I've got some great friends and I've made memories with them that'll I'll never forget.
I'm ending the year with a drink in my hand surrounded by friends, and it pretty much sums up 2010 for me.. I've danced all night, till i couldn't feel my legs!

I've learnt alot this year, and I think over time i have changed.. but I'm growing and I'm living.